More Than One in Five Single Americans Have Tried Consensual Non-Monogamy

Research finds lifetime participation above 21%. A relationship coach says the people who struggle most are the ones who were told the jealousy would go away.

WASHINGTON D.C , DC, UNITED STATES, October 12, 2026 /EINPresswire.com/ -- Research published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy found that more than one in five single American adults report having engaged in a consensually non-monogamous relationship at some point in their lives.

The figure held steady across age, education, income, religion, region, political affiliation and race.

Kitty Chambliss has coached people inside those relationships since 2015, and she says the number surprises almost nobody who works in the field. What surprises people, she says, is how little support exists for the part that actually hurts.

"There are a lot of people managing this alone at eleven at night, convinced they are the only one who feels this way," Chambliss said. "They are not unusual. They are simply not talking about it."

Chambliss is the author of "Jealousy Survival Guide: How to Feel Safe, Happy, and Secure in an Open Relationship," which reached number one in Love and Romance on Amazon in November 2017 and has sold more than 7,400 copies. She has worked with more than 390 clients and hosts a podcast that has run for more than 290 episodes.

She says the single most damaging idea in the field is one that sounds supportive.

"The people who have the hardest time are almost always the ones who believed that choosing this meant the feeling would stop," Chambliss said. "So when jealousy arrives, and it almost always does, they read it as evidence that they made a mistake or that something is wrong with them."

That interpretation, she says, causes more harm than the jealousy itself.

"Jealousy is information. It tells you something needs attention," Chambliss said. "It is not a verdict on your relationship, and it is certainly not proof that you are bad at this."

What people come in asking for

Chambliss says most people arrive looking for a rule.

"They want to negotiate an agreement that will make the feeling go away. There isn't one," she said. "The work is usually about what the jealousy is protecting, and that tends to be much older than the relationship they are in."

She says that distinction is why the work rarely centers on the other partner.

"People spend a great deal of energy managing somebody else's behavior when the thing that needs attention is closer to home," Chambliss said.

Chambliss is a Master Certified Coach through the International Coaching Federation and is not a licensed therapist. She says people should establish that distinction before choosing where to seek help.

Chambliss founded Loving Without Boundaries in 2012 and began coaching in 2015. She works with individuals and couples in open and consensually non-monogamous relationships.

Kitty Chambliss
Loving Without Boundaries
info@lovingwithoutboundaries.com
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